I too would like to see HaWho leave it to the pros. I told my H from day one, and this is something his crazy head has held onto, he will not talk to me directly once the lawyers are involved. Your brain tells you it adds to the cost, but trust me, keeping the emotions out of this as much as possible and filtering all the communications through the lawyer (of course his lawyer already scares me) can help that happen.
Good luck getting a high valuation on the jewelry. It will likely come down to the cost of the raw materials. What is the price of gold, etc. at the moment. Gifts are gifts. Unless you acknowledged in some writing that the the money was separate property and the property remained separate, I don't see that flying.
If the estate isn't huge, it may not be worth the cost of the forensic accountant. I had a very tight leash monetarily on my H until he moved out, and I have seen his tax statements for last year and he is in the same job, so I have a pretty good handle on that stuff. Forensic accountants can be expensive and even getting to that information can be a bear. He will not likely turn it over voluntarily and you will have to go to third parties with a subpoena during discovery and that gets expensive. Even 25, a lawyer, has not been able to get this kind of info out of her H.
Think about what means the most to you. The beauty of a mediated resolution is that it can take you places a court would not. If money is not as important to you as time with your kids and you are confident of your ability to support them and yourself on what you are likely to get, you may be willing to trade off some time for money. Again, that is an example and you have to think about the things that matter to you.
So glad to see everyone weighing in for you here. It is a measure of the high regard that we all have for you.
