Fighting my way out of the dark - Part 8

[Holding]

Two nights ago (Sunday night), S15 was on the phone with STBXW, and after the call he told me STBXW was taking him and S10 to her new apartment for a few days, starting Monday night. He asked me if STBXW told me about this, and I said no, she hadn't. I was upset that S15 was acting as the messenger.

So last night (Monday), I picked up some dinner for the boys on the way home from work. When I walked in the house, no one was there. The lights were off and I walked around the whole house to check. She'd already taken them to her apartment (which I don't have the address for BTW). A fair amount of their clothes and all their medications were gone. She never communicated that she was taking them. I emailed my L.

After that, I met with my deacon at church again. He helped me work through some of my anger. He explained how listing out my fears would help me start to see where my anger is coming from. Back at the house by myself, I worked on my list of fears, and this did help me a bit. Then I texted the kids good night, and S15 responded in kind.

This morning, S10 texted me to ask if STBXW could drop him off at my house tomorrow morning so he could catch the bus from there. I told him yes, of course. Already, I see she's not able to manage their schedule on her own. I have a feeling these little last-minute "favors" are how she thinks things will be in the future. Good ol' Holding, always there to pick up balls when she's juggling too much. And once again, the kids are the messengers.

This feels like an excellent opportunity for a boundary. But the thing is, this kind of boundary could impact my kids in a negative way, and I don't want that at all.