I agree w/the others, strike while the iron is hot. Right now, he wants out desperately, so give it to him on your own terms. Ask for a higher settlement in order to negotiate. When they want out in the early stages, they are more likely to give away the ocean view in Tucson, Arizona (no view), just to get rid of you and the awful situation that they think they are in.
I do think he's been putting money aside for this exit for quite some time. It may not have been a lot, but he's been hiding funds little by little.
As for the paperwork you read last night...that lawyer should be ashamed of himself/herself. The lawyer has to be very much aware that he's lost the plot and is going to soak him for everything he's got and then some because he/she knows how this will go down. Then, most likely, later on, the lawyer is going to tell him to find someone else to represent him.
The lawyer sounds so much like the one that I took on that my xh had. She found out that I wasn't crazy like my xh and just before we went to court to have the divorce decree documents, signed and sealed, she bailed on him and he had to get a lawyer from another firm. Yep, another firm. But, in the end, he was so desperate to get out of the marriage, I challenged him on a large sum of money in his IRA and I got it right there in the court room.
Yes, he's ready to move into his own place. It's taken him quite a while to get to this point, but this may help him figure things out about his life...but that will not be your problem to fix. However, I have this feeling he's still going to be around your home and sending you a lot of messages even if he's moved out. You will need to set some boundaries and really stick to them. You will need to advise your sons not to share our business w/him, because he is going to ask them about you, who you are seeing, etc. They all do it. But that is later down the road.
Run, do not walk, to the best lawyer in town. It will be well worth every penny and advise that lawyer you aren't playing around and want this done as quickly as possible and not have it drawn out, i.e., costing you lots of money.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
