That reminds me, when I found out about OW1 he said we should divorce and not tell the kids, and he would move out of state and come and stay in the house when he wanted to come back and see them. I told him he was nuts. He repeatedly told me that I was blowing up all of our lives and the fallout would be on me. These people are so messed up.
Since you feel done and have been at this so long and know what it looks like from here, my suggestion is to find a lawyer and push it through quickly (on your terms).
Doubtless he will get scared and do the MLC-stall. You will have to be the one to steer to the finish. The faster you move, the cheaper it will be. Also, he is much more likely to be reasonable if you get it done early in the infatuation zone (both of my family law attorney pals stressed this). Because mine split with OW1 only 3 weeks after move-out, I couldn't get there. I pushed when I found out about OW2, but he wasn't having any of it.
Do assume that he has been prepping this for a long time and has money you don't know about and ask for much more than you are entitled to.
