My main priorities right now are - working out, climbing, eating well, taking my meds, reading, and playing a musical instrument. I have built that into my schedule and that strategy has worked really well.
A very strong list, very similar to mine. Replace climbing with basketball and replace taking meds with attending church weekly and we are there. I took Guitar lessons about 10 years ago but then stopped playing when we had kids. I have recently picked it up again and have enjoyed it.
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Yeah, I toyed with the idea of making a pro/con list about why I wanted to work on the MR and what W brought to my life, but I am hesitant to do that for some reason. I feel like it might just push me over the edge and that there are things that I might not have thought through really well yet.
Dude, same here. When I think about the pros and cons its tough. Kids will adjust so you definitely have to have more of a reason than that to just keep the family together. If she didn't bring her A game before is it foolish to think that all of a sudden they would start?
I think at first it is ego, then you start missing the connection but over time your ego heals and you realize you can function fine without the connection so then you really start to think about why you love your spouse.
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I also don't know if she considers being a 50% parent as a loss to her.
I know my W sees this as a benefit. During kid drop off last night she said to me...."Isn't it a good feeling to not have any kid responsibilities for a week"? A few months ago she also made the comment that not having the kids for a week is "the reward". I have no doubts where my W's head is at.
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I ask myself why would I want to hang in when W just blew things up, didn't even entertain a second chance, has shown no remorse, and doesn't want to be with me. Why expend one ounce of energy on her when she's had chances to do something but didn't. For me, it's like the years we had together didn't mean enough for her to even at least try. Instead she walked out and made a decision that impacted three other people. I am not saying she didn't consider it, but it didn't matter.
Amen! When you put it like this it makes me want to call my W on the phone right now and say I am moving forward! Your W might have tried in her own way but she never told you so you both never had an opportunity to try together. That still upsets me the most.
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I am accomplishing everything and it is just bringing me so much joy. I don't want to waste a second on her anymore.
That's awesome, good for you. I always thought my W was a fool, I know what I bring to the table. I slacked off for the last year so for me it was getting my mojo back.
