Even then I imagine those few who reconcile have a lot of long-term hurt and anger and the relationship will never be the same
I've followed some piecing threads here and it looks really hard. I believe it when people say that piecing is way harder than being in this position right now. That's why it's important for me to have my non-negotiables. I don't want to do all that work if W isn't full in.
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but just in my own mind I feel like there needs to be some last attempt to save the marriage other than just endless NC.
Ahhh! Endless NC. I like that lol. Well, it does feel like that right now. I don't have any expectations from it, but it just seems like a long frikkin' tunnel. The only expectation from all of this NC is that when I get out of it, I am a better and stronger person. I don't expect anything from her. And at this point, the last thing I have is filing for D. As I said, I'll do that when I am ready and I can go either way - divorced or piecing. But both options have their requirements and so lets see what happens.
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Breaking apart a family is terribly sad even if there are other things to be happy and thankful for.
Yeah I feel for my kids mostly. What really gets me is that she didn't even want to 'try', which could've led to better outcomes for everyone I believe. But, she's in her own world and that trumped everything else.
AnotherStander brings up the point about timing a lot. That in most cases the WAS will want to attempt recon. If I could draw that timing from the WAS and LBS into Venn diagrams, the intersection point seems very small. And even though we're on their timeline for a recon attempt, I'd rather just figure out a timeline for my needs and accomplish that.
I am getting mentally stronger and physically better and 2018 is going to be my year of finally doing the transformation that I've always wanted to do but couldn't because I was stuck in my depression. I've had some great insights into why I was essentially sabotaging myself in my goals in the past and I have been able to overcome them slowly.
I am not bragging or anything, but I know the game that I bring as a partner and a father, and it is in the top 5% of men out there. So, it's her loss in the end.
