Hi Maika, as I wrote on my thread recently, I was reading about separation and divorce statistics and it sounds like the best case scenario after someone decides to separate is a 5 - 10% chance of reconciliation. Even then I imagine those few who reconcile have a lot of long-term hurt and anger and the relationship will never be the same. One of my former neighbors was getting divorced and said "do everything possible to avoid divorce, but if it has to happen, do it quickly."
I know DB suggests NC and to give the other spouse time and space but there comes a time when you're waiting for nothing. If the other spouse doesn't show any signs of interest after months of you doing everything you can, and you find yourself ready to let go, then I imagine the only other considerations are your kids and the financial aspect of divorce.
I'm sure others who are more experienced can say a lot more, but just in my own mind I feel like there needs to be some last attempt to save the marriage other than just endless NC. Like DB says at the very end of it all, say you're going to file for divorce and plan to follow-through. The final hope at that point is the other person will 'wake up.' If they don't, it's over.
I wanted so badly to save my marriage. I've been stuck in this crisis with my husband for over two years and now he's done. In your case you sound like you're in a better position to move on. If you're still young and have other prospects then you should be able to get through this although facing the reality that the marriage is ending once the divorce is happening is still sad. Breaking apart a family is terribly sad even if there are other things to be happy and thankful for.
