Stop taking the bait. If she were truly happy, she would not need to hurt you. She would be too busy living her glorious life.
Focus on what you can control. Be the best dad you can be. Thank her internally for sending this because it will help your custody case. Be careful about being "nice" and giving her extra time until that is resolved. You don't want to appear that you can't handle the time you have or don't value it. There is time to be decent about everything later. For now, follow the agreement to a T, keep notes and be very detached. Everything you send, text or email is a potential exhibit in the custody dispute.
Your D is too young to see it now, but in a few years she will put it all together. Be the consistent and stable one for her.
Stop taking the bait. If she were truly happy, she would not need to hurt you. She would be too busy living her glorious life.
Focus on what you can control. Be the best dad you can be. Thank her internally for sending this because it will help your custody case. Be careful about being "nice" and giving her extra time until that is resolved. You don't want to appear that you can't handle the time you have or don't value it. There is time to be decent about everything later. For now, follow the agreement to a T, keep notes and be very detached. Everything you send, text or email is a potential exhibit in the custody dispute.
Your D is too young to see it now, but in a few years she will put it all together. Be the consistent and stable one for her.
I love this reply.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
East, first of all, have a superb 2018. You are doing so fine even though your XW seems to be the hardest person to deal with what I've seen.
I just wanted to comment that I agree with OwnIt. Don't take the bait in any level. That is textbook behavior of a person who needs to disrespect someone else to get their short fix of "feel good". She definitely is not happy if she has to resort in this. A happy person would not care. It definitely is a short lived feeling though, only prolonged if you fall into it. I know it's hard but just forget about it. Keep being the kickass daddy you have shown to be; be the solid emotional pillar and the life guide for your D. She definitely needs one.
Also, I'm really sorry you have to deal with this. Just remember: this, too, shall pass.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
Play preventive defense. Use safeties. Watch out for fumbles and keep an eye for interceptions. Can she move out of state with your D without consulting you? Get L advice.
I am going to say something stupid, but please bear with me. You are taking this way to personal. Yeah, I know it is personal, but your W is messed in her head and her reasoning is skewed. She is justifying left and right, just to prove something to herself. THIS $HIT IS NOT ABOUT YOU, IT IS ABOUT HER. Do not give ANY of your D time to her. Not even a second. And you do not have to worry about D time. Just be involved. Wrestle with her, roll on he grass with her, go sledging, give time, not gifts. Just loosen up, it will come naturally.
And try to minimize W head space. Perhaps try the elastic wristband method. You have this elastic wrist band on your wrist and when you catch yourself thinking about your W, just snap the band and snap out of it.
And try to snap out of the poor me mentality. Life isn't fair, life isn't unfair, life just is. You are still in the early days of it (I am aware your 1 year BD anniversary is coming up). Be proactive!
How come no parenting plan is in place? How was a D granted with no parenting plan in place?
We are all here for you buddy. Rise above this $hit, you are better than this.
i am so sorry for your dealings with your XW... as a WW, i never flaunted anything good in my life in front of my husband... i agree with Vapo... don't even give your out-of-her-right-mind XW any attention... you are doing things right with your daughter and with your GF... eventually, when you and your GF get to that place, there will be wonderful times with the three of you... and you won't have to flaunt it to your XW, or you won't have to justify it... it will just be... adelante--
Definitely NOT taking the bait on this one. I didn't and am not going to respond to this in any way. When I picked up D, XW was actually there, and I was in a great mood (because I was seeing D!) so as far as she knows she didn't ruin my day.
She can't move more than 50 miles without court approval. Tennessee law. She also can't just take D, since the interim plan is what we originally agreed to. How did this happen? I honestly don't know, TN isnt supposed to grant a divorce without a parenting plan, but the way this happened (she disputed everything at the last second) seems to have created some kind of loophole. We're divorced, but with an interim parenting plan.
Yeah, I think I'm in "poor me" mode, too. I'm working on getting my head out of that space, but it's hard when stuff keeps happening. At this point, OM is thrown in my face often, but not in the "this is who I'm sleeping with" sense (which I could not care less about) but always connected to D.
The funny thing is I accept that they need to have a relationship, but how she's doing it is damn messed up.
