My Journey with WAS (Part 7)

[TBSakaJ9]

I feel like my sitch is pretty uneventful at this point with the same status for the last many weeks - NC/Dark; whenever I have contact with W, I keep it pleasant and short; working on all my goals and being more involved with the kids.

Yup, same here. What are the goals you are working on?

Right now I am in a bit of a weird head space. I am trying to figure out why I don't want a D - aside from the fact that keeping the family unit together would be good for kids. I am having a hard time coming up with good reasons why I'd want to work on this marriage. I am not exhausted or living in limbo or wanting to give up, but I need more clarity on what I am fighting for.

It is definitely a weird place to be in and I wonder the same things. If you get the answer let me know because I have been struggling with this one.

I am in this place where nothing is pulling me towards W any more and having a desire to work on the MR. I have left her to her devices and not pursued and she hasn't peeped about the R for months now. I don't know if she has an OM or not, but I don't care at this point. I truly believe that I don't know her any more and she's really at the same level as an acquaintance.

Over time I have felt the distance creep in as well. At times I really find it hard to believe that this MR could ever be reconciled. I have no idea what she does in her spare time, what she is thinking and since my communication with her is no more than 5 min or so per weak I don't see how we could ever move forward.

So my timeline was June for my goals and I am well along the way for that. I won't make a decision about what's next until then, but I feel that I will know by then what I really want.

I pray that you will get the clarity you need. I have been praying for this as well. Maybe I have been getting the signs though and have just been ignoring them.

Also btw, this woman has lately been kinda flirting with me where I get my coffee sometimes and I've been social with her without being flirty. Just being nice and having conversation. I almost wanted to ask her out for a drink today, but I didn't.

Good for you, getting noticed is something that I have not experienced for a couple of months now. Even if you don't act on anything just having conversation can be a rewarding experience.