Thanks Jim, I appreciate your support. I hope I can deliver good news to the board one day and give everyone some hope. I try to stay positive and take each day as it comes, live in the moment, to not to get to high and on the bad days not sink too low.
The best news you can deliver is that you're kicking some serious a$$ in life and that you're happy. If your W is by your side holding your hand, that will be an added bonus.
Just like your W, I believe that what my W is going through is a lot more about her than me. It will be upto her to figure out whether she wants to come back as a wife and full time parent or not. I feel a lot more detached lately, but thoughts about D are cropping up a lot. Anyways, I'll update my sitch when I can parse through them.
The best news you can deliver is that you're kicking some serious a$$ in life and that you're happy.
Well, I kicked some serious a$$ in the gym this morning does that count And I actually am pretty happy outside of this nagging little mosquito bite called my W Life is good and as I was sitting on my couch last night, sipping a little bourbon with the fire on watching Netflix in peace it felt good!
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If your W is by your side holding your hand, that will be an added bonus.
Well, I have a ways to go for that if it happens! She is still pretty dug in and is not ready to roll out the red carpet yet for J9.
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Just like your W, I believe that what my W is going through is a lot more about her than me.
Your right, towards the end even our dogs caught some fury. They will truly have to come back because of their love for us as over time everyone will be adjusted to this new lifestyle.
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I feel a lot more detached lately, but thoughts about D are cropping up a lot.
The intensity for me comes and goes which means I am not ready yet. I hate talking to anyone about what is going on outside of on this board because everyone (like 2 to 3 people) tell me to cut bait and move on. she doesn't deserve you. For whatever reason I don't think she is ready either.
Keeping on is getting easier, it is actually starting to get a little comical.
Uggh.....so my oldest D got the Flu and they are with my W this week. She took today off to be home with her but has no more time left so now I have to work from home tomorrow, Thursday and take a day on Friday. The Theraflu is $195 and of course she doesn't have the money to pay. Guess who footed that bill. It is stuff like this which really pisses me off, that I have no control over and would normally be a non-issue if she hadn't pulled this bull$hit. I know this is nothing compared to what others are going through but it really pisses me off!
Hi all, nothing new. I am doing well and am at peace. Starting to feel indifferent and the W is occupying a lot less of my mind. While I am standing for my MR I don't feel that I am doing much to save it. Tomorrow marks 7 months and I am so much better than where I was back in May. It feels like such a long time but in reality it hasn't been that long at all.
I have no anger for my W only compassion and empathy. I have not seen or spoken to her since Friday morning during kid pick up. She is still not wound as tight and is much more comfortable in my presence, will engage more in conversation and jokes around as well. I know it doesn't mean anything but at minimum I hope it all helps my D's be comfortable around us. I am not punitive or vindictive, still don't pursue and really never initiate conversation. My only desire is to be a good co-parent and set the example for my girls.
So where do I go from here? For me I will continue to do the things that I enjoy which is investing in myself. I love to lift weights, exercise, eat healthy, read, spend time with my girls, play basketball, have some guy time, do some stuff around the house, attend church and keep the wardrobe up to date. I don't need much else in my life for me to be happy. I really am a simple person. I have been alone before in two different towns, not knowing a sole, when I was starting out in my career so I know I will be happy being alone again.
I know at some point in time I need to think about what I really want out of the R with my W but for right now I keep avoiding the tough answers to those questions. Maybe that means I am not ready or maybe that means I won't do it because it goes against my belief system. Or maybe I just haven't had enough yet and that hope still lingers locked away in my heart. I guess only time will tell.
TBH I have thought about telling her I am going to move forward with D but then I think well maybe I have not given her enough time. She has suffered consequences but unfortunately those have not been enough. She has struggled financially, she does not have me to support her emotionally, she has less time with the kids (although she probably enjoys that :), moved out herself to an apt, I don't run errands for her, we stay on tract with our parenting schedule 98% of the time so I really don't know what else to do other than continue to be patient, keep moving on and give it more time.
If she was baiting me into arguments, flaunting men in my face and being over the top disrespectful like other guys on the board are experiencing it would be easier for me to come to some conclusions. Maybe that is what makes it more difficult.
Hi everyone, last day with my girls today until next Sunday. My youngest had a basketball game this am and my oldest had soccer practice so I spent some time with the W.
After my oldests practice they wanted to go to the store and get a new toy, the love those LOL Dolls so we picked out a couple and now I just got done doing their laundry and packing up their things for the week.
I remember when kid exchange used to bother me and I would get really stressed out seeing the W and interacting with her. Now it's no big deal. I also remember how upset I was early on knowing I was not going to see my kids for a while. I wouldn't say it is no longer a big deal but the pain has definately subsided.
I drop this off late this afternoon so I will probably just chill out at home tonight and catch up on some Netflix. I will hit the gym tomorrow morning, then church and then over to a freinds house to watch some football then back to work on Monday
Just some obsersvations on the W. I know a lot of times we refer to the WAW having scrambled brains for a brain. I had a good example of that today. On Thursday I sent the W an email about the kid schedule for the upcoming week and I also informed her what time the practices and games where today. So even though I gave her the information and she confirmed/agreed to the schedule I get a text last night at 11:30 asking me where the games where at today and what time. Then while we were sitting next to each other today at practice she asked me what the schedule was. When she asked I started laughing (sorry I did not validate) and reminded her of times/schedule and reminded her the information was in the email. I was like geex woman, I know you could have truely forgot but where is your mind????
Still no word on D, it's been almost 3 months since she last brought it up. Based on the answer I gave I doubt she brings it up again unless she is ready to proceed 100%. She knows she can't hang that over my head any more. She was talkative, we joked around some, she touched my arm at one point in time and was behaving in the same manner she has been.
I know I am journaling a little bit about our interactions but strangly enough being in limbo has become easier over time. I'm not sure if it supposed to be that way or not but for me it is. I guess over time I have accepted a number of different things and I really understand at this point in time it is really up to her.
I know a number of folks on the board have recently been served and I really thought she was going to bring up the conversation again after the holidays. I also know one of her enablers is going through a D as well and I believe has already consulted a L and her and her soon to be Ex are starting the process. Based on that information I assume that would help her proceed but I guess it is just an example of no matter what enablers the WAW has around them ultimately the choice is theirs and the enablers don't make it for them.
Stay strong everyone, give yourself space and distance. It does get easier over time!
J9, at this point do you still want to R? My W filed a week ago and I really feel relieved. We still live in the same house but have not spoken in a week and she will not even look at me.
Do you have a time frame as to how long you want to wait? We are on the same timeline and I have followed your sit from the beginning.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
