I am delighted you have a special lady friend, well deserved and I am thinking a much better R.
You are certainly growing and developing, and one of the routes is to post here to newcomers. It isn't for every LBS to stay around although there is enormous post traumatic growth in posting this way, it solidifies your knowledge and pays it forward.
For me it has really helped with detachment and observation. I sometimes find the sitches of the distressed newbies trigger me and that too is a useful guide. It's part of my path to recovery.
Shift gives me great joy when I observe growth and personal development in extraordinary ways. There are truly remarkable peeps here. And to see graduation to R or acceptance is spiritual.
I would like to say that the downfall of the G (when it comes as it surely will) is not going to surprise me or shock me. Of course I will be to blame, as I always am. By fighting his fin case I have reduced his settlement from me to a minimum although it's a great chunk of change. Why should a man who I was M for 9 months walk away with half my assets? Especially when he has gambled all his, had OW galore, abused me, orally raped me and run off to Italy to be with an ex stripper?
I also believe he did great harm to his first wife. I know so because he told me that once to frighten me.
A friend recently offered to teach me to shoot so I can get a gun license. I have no such intention of course but it's an amusing thought to post on FB.
I am less afraid these days and as time goes on I feel much calmer.
My life is peaceful and I have no special person......
Frankly not even looked, my heart is closed for business, although a little physical lovemaking might help. Like Zues I think I may not be partner material, and in any case I doubt any sane male would be interested (especially Liam). I still have weight to lose, I am deep in studies and I am trying to turn my business around. My finances are just dire, overdrafts, loans and legal debts. In all I am busy happy and my days are full of learning.
I am determined to be super fit. Today I did a zombie run which was awesome. I have made my decisions to do another pin up session and put myself forward for some fitness contracts. I made some serious cash on that in my 20s wearing clothing for catalogues, although no one ever saw the whole of me! Mainly feet in shoes and trousers. A colleague at the gym works for an agency who specialises in third age models. There is a long way to go though before that.
These are very ambitious goals. I don't think I have bitten off more than I can chew, who can tell.
My sense of humour has returned, I rank that as a good sign.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
