I often think the word abuse is thrown around to lightly around here. I am afraid in your case, it may actually be true. Emotional abuse really appears evident here. It wasn't like one day he was such a nice guy and then he flipped. He has been this way for a while. To tell you he wished he aborted your daughter in front of her?! That is actually EVIL.
You are worried about peaceful collaborative mediation, but the odds are slim you are going to get that from a sociopath like your husband. Unless you give him exactly what he wants. I also hate hate hate to say it, but I don't see him being a significant figure in your daughter's life, so keeping the peace in coparenting shouldn't be such a concern.
I agree with KML. Take your daughter as far away from this man as legally possible.
You have been made to believe you are not strong enough. BUT YOU ARE! you need to believe in your strength.
Sometimes the hardest part of this journey is mourning that the person we married is not the person we thought they were. It's like mourning a death. But moving past the denial part of that grieving must be done. For you and your daughter's sake. Get the help of any family and friend you might have and escape this man. Please. For you and your daughter. That kind of monster isn't going to become a man your daughter should be around overnight.
I am sorry to be so blunt, but your daughter needs you to be strong. You need to lawyer up, get as away as you can and rally the help of anyone that you can around you.
You need to look in that mirror everyday and tell yourself how strong you are. Because you are going to need to be strong for two. I know you can do it.
