Sitch : 3 attempts at MC, I never did the IC I needed, only atarted IC after BD, wife connsiders any improvements after BD to be self serving and too little too late.
No EA/PA known, no substance abuse, physical abuse, etc.
Communication issues, my anger issues (controlling through anger) and her feeling like we became too mean to each other.
Separating late Jan, Bird Nesting style where the kids stay in the house and we live in a shared studio apartment when we don’r have the kids.
Currently :
She is leaving today for a week work trip. She saw the apartment we will split and said it is sad. It is kinda sad, it is a studio.
My 180s : Trying to be kinder. No muttering, passive agressive, bs that wwnt on before
IC for PTSD and Anger, dealing with divorce.
Accepting responsibility for anger issues with kids. Working on better, non angry parenting.
Telling her more about my internal feelings (i am a closed person) but trying to not make that pursuing.
Positive signs : She said she is confused, can’t even say the word D, and dies not want to make it generally known that we are Ding so we don’t have to walk it back if we change our minds... many paths open to us.
Negative signs : all positive signs are “what ifs” and she still only considera are MC to be DC. Admitting the full extent of my anger issues to myself and her scared her a bit and made her question 50/50 custody.
Whew!
Told my kids I was in IC for anger. They said I was good daddy, but I did yell too much. I said I wanted to be a better Daddy. Owned up to specific problematic anger events for each of them and appologized, hugs, I cried a bit. W was there to help the kids understand and make sure I didn’t over explain. I have a tendancy to treat them like little adults and give too much context they shouldn’t have.
Me: Mid 40s W : Early 40s M:11 T:13 S, D, both 7-10 BD : 11/2017 Separation : 1/18
