Just talk to them about things if the raise anything. They will tend to at bed time or if you are alone. Listen and talk. Reassure never raise anything. Over time they will reveal that they knew that you were the rock. Trust me, they will. mum is always mum and you must never throw her under the bus - a train perhaps, but never a bus. Sorry. You do have to find some fun at times.
BTW can you do a summary sitch footer please? It helps others helping to focus on your specific ages, dates, kids details etc.
Thank you.
Surfer.
M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids Issues2009 Wpartying w/g.f's2013on EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR ImeetAP/EAhalts VariousBDDates MFCourse WSpew EAresumes I halt Wrages DBIng4/2016