Hi Sotto- Happy New Year, though I am sorry it's not off to the best start.

I had something similar happen with my son when he was very little. And afterwards, like you, I was quite shaken up over it. What made it hard is that it could have all been much, much worse and in the end it was all luck that it was not worse. I guess we all want certainty.

And, in my son's case I should have stopped him from doing something that ended up causing him to hurt himself. But I didn't because I was in the middle of something with my other son and also I was sick at the time and quite tired. I felt very guilty for a long time.

In time I realized I dodged a major bullet. For what the situation could have been, we got very, very lucky. Give yourself some time. You've been through a lot these last couple of years. Don't be so hard on yourself and give it time.

Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced