What should I be doing now? (It's done)

[Coconut]

Since then I've come to understand I don't meet today's relationship standards. This has been one of the most important lessons I've learned from my experience and these forums. To the two women I've had long term relationships with I have been dumped as the abuser because I didn't meet expectations. From my perspective they are unrealistic. To me it stops mattering which is 'right or wrong', the moral is I know I'm not a good fit for a modern relationship. Knowing this I have chosen to remain single so I don't hurt myself or others trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

I'm sure it's easy to say 'man up and become a better man so you fit everything on this list, it's not that hard'. I agree if a man is able to do that then that is outstanding. For those that can't it at least helps to be aware of this so we can act accordingly.

Zeus,

I think is is a profound statement but I don't want to hijack the thread you wrote it on, but I can't get past the thought that it is a topic that should be discussed. After the experience most LBS's here have gone through, it isn't difficult to feel insufficient, like we aren't good enough.

I signed up for Cupid today, I was interested in seeing who was on there and what the Internet dating pool looked like in my area. I looked at pictures of very physically attractive woman, as well as some that weren't attractive to me at all. I had many thoughts as I swiped left and right, am I too judge mental, would this person find me attractive, do I look as old as some of the people in my age group who were on there, etc..

But I came across several profiles that I appreciated the honesty, some said they were sluts looking for a quick fix, others listed very descriptive activities that they are into, such as politics, woman's rights, little people trying to make a small difference in big issues, homebodies that are anti social, etc. and clearly stated they wanted someone of the same mindset. They weren't trying to pretend who they were to find Mr. Right, they were laying out their idiosynchroties of who they were and who they wanted to be with, to find Mr Right For Them.

My brother made the statement to me over the holidays that I've always dated very beautiful women and I'll find another one... I just replied to him "that isn't the quality I'm most concerned about anymore"... I want to find the person that fits me, but I will admit I have a hard time getting past the looks I've always went after. But I digress.

My point is that if you make it clear who you are, what you bring to the table, and what you don't, there is somebody out there that is looking for that. If you have low sex drive, someone else out there does as well, and they are more interested in finding someone who: likes to cook, watch tv with them, raise a house full of cats, whatever. I find it hard to believe that there isn't someone out there who is looking for everyone who has idiosynchroties or shortcomings.