Surfer and V: Thank you for the resources and perspectives. I am in Texas in the US.
OK got it. That is helpful.
I did contact my attorney, and ironically the papers WW served me prohibit both of us from engaging in the type of behavior she has been exhibiting: harassment, abuse, insulting in front of children, etc. So I have been advised to let the attorney know as soon as possible that it is happening so we can press charges.
Good. Now is already too late, do it yesterday.
Yes, de-escalate. Record record record record! GAL. Got it.
Absolutely! Now for an action plan
I am maintaining as much NC as possible. I will continue doing what I'm doing. But I also know I just don't feel the same way about her anymore. It's like I'm driving off and she's in the rear view mirror getting smaller and smaller.
Yes, I know how that is. I love the analogy.
I think soon I might tell her I'm no longer in love with her and I want to get this divorce over and done.
No No No, my thoughts here, giving you my view
Stay Schtum. Avoid, de escalate, this is for YOU to know and for YOU to manage. Her thoughts are irrelevant, and your thoughts are your own. If you reconcile ever (hey, unlikely I know) there is no going back when you have said this! And you may want connection with your stepson. No burned bridges!
An OOP and D are boundaries for behaviour not feelings. Love is a choice and now you have chosen to not love but you may choose compassion eventually. And V doesn't believe forgiveness is mandatory. (Another time for those thoughts!)
Cards chest close any order. OK? Don't say too much.
Take action, that speaks louder than words! Dump her entitled ass, get your OOP. D swiftly silently and strongly. Use your feet not your mouth!
Wow.
What a ride.
------------------------- There is a book mistakes men make in divorce mentioned on my post above which is for HIGH CONFLICT D. One of the major mistakes is saying too much.
Trust your instincts, do not prod the angry bear. Calm, silent, NC and grey rock. Look at BIFF responses on admin issues.
Do NC like a boss can be Googled and will also present you with sound advice on how to master NC. I can tell you V is a NC master.
Perhaps you could read the abuse threads and read Morbo current threads too. It might help to see another poster go through the same process.
You are smart and have hit the ground running. So proud of you, not my place to be but I am.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
