Please do not respond to her messages, you do this to avoid conflict. That means the less contact you have then the less conflict, the less misinteretation there will be. Please stay Schtum. Keep her messages too. Most of them are designed to provoke or make you slip up. It's very easy to get tone in texts misinterpreted.
Have you spoken to your L? Have you filed an order of protection?
Do you have your incident report? Dealing with this requires you to stay calm and take action.
Be safe please be safe.
I have been in your position treading on eggshells. Ducking and diving, hiding out. Locking my door when I am in the house. Eating food in my room. Planning my schedule accordingly. It's the worst time of all. And I didn't have children in the mix. It took careful management but eventually WH left. His then OW didn't want him so he tried to regain control of the MH. Only my non molestation (UK version of order of P) order prevented him getting occupation. I understand this is tricky and destructive to the spirit. It's early days yet. Breathe. See how WW behaves and record, record and record.
False allegations are domestic abuse and hard to deal with. Your L needs to know that this is possible in your sitch. You already have a third party who found this unproven and that's great if you have the documents.
Sadly yes you are in the danger zone, 1 in 7 men experience partner violence and abuse. Know this, I believe you. And it's much tougher for men to get the support they need IRL. At this point you can file for an order of protection, the balance is on your side. Mustardseed WH filed an order against her on quite flimsy grounds as a tactic and it can be difficult for the spouse who has this filed against them. Please, please consider an order of protection it's the strong thing to do.
If your L isn't supportive you may need to talk to a criminal lawyer to get advice and act quickly.
Many men don't take the necessary steps at this stage to protect themselves fearing this will anger the WW or that it is somehow unmanly or lacks balls to have been abused. Think of yourself as a target of a strategic campaign rather than a victim and you will understand how this works. It's a plan to get you safely to the other side intact and with your life able to flow. That's strong and very manly indeed.
This is a terrible thing to say I know but you are a statistic, an unlucky statistic in this.
Do not despair, there are others who have got to the other side of their abusive sitches with a marvellous life of hope and joy. The remarkable and enigmatic surfer is one, Schermann another.
There was another poster called Joe here whose WW ran a sex trade business from their home with children and step children living in the same house. In house S was hell for him, I am very pleased to report he is a happy grandfather and has all of the children (including step children) around him.
Breathe, detach and do all you can to protect yourself.
Mustardseed, Ancaire, Zelda, Joe, Surfer and Schermann are all thriving after domestic abuse. V in my sitch is still ongoing with endless triangulation using the courts, false filings, manipulations of legal systems. I am though happier than I have ever been.
It's ok to take advice, it's okay to be anxious and in due course to be angry.
Post back to me if you want more chat. I will check in on you.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
