Your post is really a very good advice. And I have to apologise, as I am a bit desperate today. What i do not understand, is how to handle the finance: I used not to give her money, it was one of her complaints, so shall I be more generous now? Not to "buy" her, but to help rebuilding the trust. Or what about housing? I live in a very small place which depresses me, shall I ask her to move out from our (my) house? It will be more expansive for me, but I will feel myself much more comfortable and probably better. But then again, kids love the house.
On one hand I do not want to piss her off, on the other, status quo seems not to be in my favour.
