Husband gone for the second time - 2

[Sotto]

I'm in the UK Nicole and XH and me D'd collaboratively at my suggestion. It is a newish thing here to try and minimise the conflict of the D process. L's need to be specially trained in order to support collaborative divorces.

Normally here, there are facilitated meetings for you with both your L's present. But the L's tend to be on better terms with each other if they are 'collaborators' and there is less adversity in the process. For us, we did no meetings as XH is about 4 hours away and we felt we could manage to agree things without the need for meetings. I was relieved as I too dreaded that. I felt I could manage a Skype meeting, but it never came to that.

For me, the total legal bill was around £4K, which I was happy with. We didn't have children together, but we did have a couple of properties and co-joined finances. I set up a direct debit for £100/month to spread the legal fees payments. Then I would receive a quarterly bill and settle anything owing in that quarter. I was working, but pretty broke during that time, and it was manageable for me.

I just wondered whether you might have similar options over there? Also, please try and let go of the feeling that you are doomed if you are unable to save your marriage. Truly, a happy and peaceful life lies the other side of this for most people in our situation. I really hope you will remember that - your future happiness does not depend on the restoration of your marriage...

Xx