In my state you can file an order for temporary support while the divorce is in process - did your attorney mention that?
When I went through my mediated divorce, my ex and I each had our own private attorney that we saw on the side. We would go to the mediator, then run things by our private attorney. They were a good sounding board and could give you an idea whether the negotiated results were fair and similar to what you would win in court.
Stop worrying about the effects of this on reconciliation. This part is about business. No woman here ever won her husband back by being a doormat. I suspect the main reason he hasn't filed these last two years is because he knows he'll have to give you more money in a divorce.
Keep your daughter safe, get your fair share of the money and support, and document EVERYTHING including statements like his last one. He sounds sociopathic and I'd move far away as soon as legally possible.
