I said the main reason was my anger and her feeling like any changes I make now would be self serving. Then she said, yes, but also that I was mean to her. A lot. And that she was mean to me, and that's not what she wants in a relationship. She can't imagine being 80 and still living with somebody who's mean to her and who she is mean to. This "why would you be mean to somebody you love?" was the main driver for getting her to the D stage. I remember these things, of course, but I remember a lot of good things, too. She seems to only remember the mean things.
Subitai,
I read the quote above and then I skimmed through your thread. I think there's a very high probability that there's an OM. It all sounds too familiar.
I know everyone says that it doesn't matter if there's an OM; the approach is still the same. The approach may be the same, but I think it does matter whether or not there's an OM. I think your wife has a main squeeze and it ain't you.
