Ok, this is driving me nuts.

We just got back from the notary and guess what?

After she realized that she cannot afford the divorce or rather that the situation afterwards would not be feasible for her (that she can keep the house basically) she was a mess emotionally and told me during the ride back home that she now no longer wants a D.

This SHOULD sound like good news to me but honestly it's probably the worst thing that could have happened here.

She said she now wants to stay and we'll try to get along somehow but that she will from now on have to worry about her own happiness and put her needs first.

That in itself does not sound all that bad right? Problem is the way she said it STRONGLY implied to me that she indeed means an OM. She is now constantly texting on her phone and yeah... i can do the math i guess. It doesn't matter though, or at least it shouldn't matter to me at this point.

I am now SO confused and dumbfounded though with what to DO with this situation?

I feel like i'd rather be the one to push for D now in spite of everything since i don't think i could accept her living like that "officially" from now on.

Before it was sort of an unspoken "agreement" between us that she now has a new extravagant lifestyle in order to find herself anew and i could see myself coming to terms with that even.

But to make it official and basically tell me that she will now go and live her life (and probably her affair) apart from me but still live with me in our house does not sit right with me no matter how i look at it???

Enlighten me please frown (aka any feedback is greatly appreciated lol)