My husband dropped the bomb about 5 months ago. We had our issues just like every other married couple on the planet but up to that day his words and actions showed love. Not just for me but for our kiddos. Now he has met someone "who he can talk to" and "makes him feel good about himself". And it only took about 3 weeks for him to find this woman who is what he has been looking for. When he dropped the bomb he just kept saying he had lost something and couldn't find it again and he just didn't love me anymore.
Hunny, please come back to the forum. Your journey is similar to mine and our H's are in MLC.
The quote above is the first paragraph from your first post. It speaks volumes. He's in the Replay stage and will be for quite awhile - possibly 2-3 years. During this time he will be turned away from you. Nothing much is going to happen with a return until he is through Replay and probably past that. MLC is a solitary journey he must take. Never mind the OW - she's so irrelevant - most MLCer have affairs. It's all part of the journey. The OW is a perfect mirror to him right now and that's what he needs to work out some long buried painful dynamic that was left unresolved. He recreates this dynamic with her in order to fix now what he couldn't fix long ago. All unconscious of course. His MLC is still there, his depression is still there, he is NOT happy despite outward appearances.
For now, just leave him completely alone and force nothing - for a long time. He will wake up one day and realize this OW is not who he thought she was. She's as messed up as he is. Many OW are also in MLC. The MLCer is NOT going to be instantly attracted to an emotional healthy woman. So you can imagine how this is going to end up eventually, right?
Many of us on the forum are dealing with a MLCer in the midst of an Affair. Read some of the old threads - it's very encouraging to see that quite a few were where we are now, and in the end the MLCer came through the crisis and the marriage was restored. It will take enormous patience though.
