First, if your wife is in MLC, you are aware that MLC's number one ingredient is depression? It's about childhood issues and they were stunted emotionally at a young age. She needs to go back to that age, revisit it and realize that she was not at fault for the way she was treated and hopefully, then begin to grow up.
Second, please stop trying to rationalize w/her and tell her that she's in MLC. MLCers do not want to hear or be diagnosed w/health issues. You can't rationalize w/a person who isn't being rationale, i.e., operating on pure emotions. You can't reason w/them, so keep your thoughts to yourself about her being in MLC. Stop sending her info about MLC and whatever you do, DO NOT SHARE what you learn here or provide her w/the address of this site. This site is for you and you alone.
Third, the person you knew is gone. She is now the mirror image of that person you knew, i.e., the opposite. She's going to do things that are the exact opposite of what you would expect of her.
If something isn't working, which clearly your conversations w/her of recent days, then stop bringing up relationship and MLC talks. Stick to general subjects, i.e., such as your child...keep the conversations very neutral.
No marriage is perfect and we all have made mistakes, but that doesn't mean that she couldn't have come and talked to you about what she was thinking long before the crisis hit. It's not your place to make her happy. Happiness comes from within and the only person that you can help is yourself and your children.
I have one question for you...what happened about 18-24 months ago? Did someone pass away, she lose/gain employment, health issues for her? Something triggered the onset of her crisis and just so you know, she has 18-24 months head start on you for detaching from you and the relationship.
Please read the homework that I left for you. Visit other threads and you'll soon discover that much of what your wife is saying and doing is very typical of someone in crisis. Educate yourself on depression...that will help you better understand some of what she's saying and/or doing.
Bottom line...keep your expectations of her to zero, focus on yourself and your family and dig very, very deep for patience because she is going to try your patience. This is not a sprint, but a marathon...are you up for it or are you ready to cut your losses?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
