I should probably mention the fact that i live in a EU country where Divorce law works in a way that only allows custody for children to ONE parent only, while the other is relegated to seeing their child 2 days every 2 weeks. This is LEGALLY speaking of course, you can always make arrangements like 50/50 of course but that is of your own consent. If the custodian does no longer agree you are pretty much out of luck on that one
Another fact here is that apparently more than 90% of the time the mother gets the child unless they are extremely abusive etc. which is not the case.
In fact, i believe that my (still) wife is a wonderful mother under NORMAL circumstances. I have been trying to reason with her and explain to her that if she were "stable" and not in an MLC it would probably even be best for our son to live with her if i HAD to make a choice since she was always the one i trusted to make the best choices for him when it came down to it.
Of course that triggered her and while she was sort of on board with knowingly being in an MLC (h@ll she even suggested it herself 6 months back or so) she now denied it and said she no longer believes she is having a MLC but that this is what she truly wanted all along (divorce) and to go against what societal norms and expectations as well as her mother (traditional christian) have always expected of her, in order to save herself.
Suffice to say, i have tried to send her information about what an MLC is in hopes of her trying to better understand what sort of situation she and our family are in right now but yeah... it'll probably backfire lol
I gotta say though, she was very convincing tonight. She even convinced ME that D is the right thing to do for her now. It is not what i WANT but i now feel that by trying to stall her and to buy time and trying to convince her of other options like counseling and whatnot, i am only delaying the inevitable. She will no longer be happy like this and she is feeling SO much pressure from this situation (i have to mention that she gets bouts of depression as well with this but that is not uncommon i heard) that i feel it truly may be best if i went along with the D just to show her that i truly do not want to stand in her way of happiness even if it has to be without me.
Tomorrow we have an appointment with a notary in order to assess our common finances and to gauge what a D would/will (ugh) cost each of us.
To be frank though, i have made my share of mistakes and i now see there is a LOT of truth to what she is telling me. I was not a good husband and i should have done MANY things differently. I did not protect her and care for her enough and wrongly assumed she was strong enough to bear my problems and shortcomings.
However, i still believe that the deciding factor in her pushing for D as intensely as she does now is the MLC and not the fact that i (rightfully) need to become a better man myself.
As for an OM, well she IS seeing a guy that she goes to the gym with quite a lot but according to her he is gay so.. make of that what you will lol. Even if it is a lie and she is cheating on me, it doesn't even matter at this point does it? We are going straight for divorce and i can't even fault her for it, when i am being honest... It still destroys me inside and makes me cry every time i think about it.
Last edited by job; 01/04/1810:34 AM. Reason: edited a word
