What should I be doing now? (It's done)

[Coconut]

Hi Coconut, I'd like to know more about how it's going for you since it looks like I'll soon be divorced.

Overall I’ve been doing very well, my life has changed quite a bit since BD and I’ve embraced the change and feel alive. As the D approaches, the MR has been on my mind a lot, but that is not the norm. I’m accepting the emotions, mourning my M and hopefully will be able to find closure on my own. Most of my life is better than it was pre BD (more money, more active, more adventures, etc.) except of course not living with my stepson anymore, but he’s going away to college in 6 months so that would have happened either way.

Anyway I told him I wanted to break it off and I felt horrible. I was in tears for days, kept telling him I was sorry. At the same time, I was sure about the decision.

Breaking up is hard no matter what, but the way the waywards do it, there is no closure. There should be sadness when a relationship ends, and it hurts to see waywards appear unaffected.

I hope your wife at least reads your text and thinks about it.

my phone shows when a message is read and the message never showed that it was read.. then I accidently texted her a question I meant to ask my son, and she immediately responded. My guess is that she deletes any texts that look personal, without opening them.

I hope you find a new lady who exceeds your expectations and loves you forever.

That does sound nice

Of course, doing that did result in having two of the most wonderful sons on the planet.

I often find myself wishing I would have left my wife when we found out she couldn’t have kids, so that I could have had biological kids of my own… But given the choice to go back in time and make that choice, I wouldn’t, because those years with her gave me my R with my stepson. Our R is the best parent/child R he has.

Anyway at this point it's probably not hurting your sitch either, so no biggie.

Definitely not going to hurt my sitch. If she called me today and said she wanted to try and work it out, I would not go down that road. What I really want is closure, I’m having a difficult time just accepting how things ended, without having a single R conversation since we separated (and there was no sadness from her leading up to the separation).. I think what I want is to see some regret or sadness. I don’t like that I want it, I know I will never get it, but I think that is what I feel is missing.