Should i leave the house or stay?

[Gordie]

Welcome to the club. You were together a long time before being married. What does marriage and divorce mean to you and her?

Re moving out, yes with a kid it makes things much more complicated. Don’t do it emotionally or spur of the moment or without consulting a L. Yes, she wants the house and kid but D doesn’t work that way. You both get to say what you want and usually divide everything in half, including custody of the kid. My stbx wanted the house and kids. She is paying me for my half of the house and we are splitting kids 50-50.

Your w says she wants a D but has she done anything about it? People talk about D for years...but follow actions, not words.

If you don’t want to abandon your son, then don’t abandon your son. Figure out what you want—this will take time.

Great D B advice I got from the coach is not to fight or resist what she says. Meaning when she says “I want a D” you can say “I don’t want a D but I won’t stand in your way if that’s what you want”. That defuses the situation and take the pressure off of her and gives time and space for both of you. If she starts badgering you on D logistics you can say “I’m not an expert on D so want to consult with a L before rushing into any decisions.” This gives you space and time to make informed decisions.

Warning: if she is going out all night and insisting on a D...highly likely there is an OM in the picture. What do you know or suspect?