Very sorry Nicole, it's a terrible thing to go through for sure! Regarding the books I've read both and they are quite similar, the biggest difference is Michele made some changes to DR to reinforce that recon takes a lot of time. She said that some people read DB and were left with the impression that DB'ing is a "quick fix" but it wasn't her intent to make people think that. Since you've read DR before I think you'll be fine just re-reading DB.
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The link about MLC does characterize my husband but he's only 36. The link also doesn't say what someone can do to allow reconciliation to happen.
The approach towards a WAS and MLCer is mostly the same, it's about giving them time and space while you work on yourself. The biggest difference is MLCers can take MUCH longer to come out of the fog. 4 or 5 years is not unusual. And MLCers tend to be much more angry/ resentful/ hurtful towards the LBS during the whole process.
