How to respond (or not respond) to WW spew

[hoosjim]

I have seen this not firsthand but close secondhand with my best friend, who's STBXW is both 1) VERY wayward and also 2) My own W's bff.

Everything bad that happens is the H's fault. He can literally do no right. All of his interactions with the kids are damaging disasters. And H himself is difficult and unreasonable d-head.

Let's just forget that his WW cheated on him. Not once, not twice, not three times, but four times. The last two with the dude who at the time was supposedly my buddy's best friend. And now the W is attempting to pick up and uproot the kids (youngest is 6) for the second time in two years to move to Florida so she can be closer to her AP. But the H is the one who is being "unreasonable" and "hurtful".

Funny thing is, until this past November, when my buddy was caught in the throes of appeasement and enablement, his WW repeatedly told my W that he (H) was being "just amazing". Funny how things changed once my buddy wised up and his WW stopped getting her way on everything...

And she pretty much daily (or at least was until the past couple of weeks when I think my W trimmed down their contact quite a bit) was spewing this stuff to anyone who would listen... and also constantly trashing my friend and attacking him directly whenever they spoke or corresponded.

The one big mistake my buddy continues to make, even as he has kicked her to the curb (he is now dating her AP's STBXW, lol) and stopped giving in to all her demands, is that he continues to engage/explain/argue/justify when she spews. Hopefully he'll learn...