Time will heal you. But you need to give time space to work. Detaching, GAL are all mechanisms to get space from the madness. NC is very important. Stay off the rollercoaster.
I’ll try and keep an eye on your posts.
You will get there, you already are. You can’t tell if you will R, might do, might not but you will be very happy again.
Keep going you are doing great.
Surfer.
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