I read all these posts from people on this site that have been through this and for some reason I feel like the odd ball, that I can't handle the situation.
You are not the odd ball at all, what you are feeling is normal and it is normal to feel like you can't get through it too. I remember when I was going through the worst of it people were telling me things like "you'll get through this", "things will get better", "this is temporary" and it was just not helpful at all. I was hurting so freakin' bad and it just felt like it would never end. Your pain is VERY REAL! There is no dismissing it. There is no shortcut, you've got to feel the pain and deal with the loss. You've got to be patient with yourself. It hurts and it's miserable and it tears you apart. Just take life a day at a time, an hour at a time or a minute at a time, whatever you need to get through it. It gets better day by day and even though it's very hard for you to imagine right now, you'll emerge a better, stronger, more confident and independent Dusty. I mean you think those things about me, right? Believe me I have no superpowers, I was right where you are and felt just like what you are describing.
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Knowing that you had the same struggle helps me in some strange way. And I do need to find who the real me is, I met my W when I was 21, she was 19 and married 5 years after we met, I'm getting there, I hit the gym 5/6 days a week now which keeps my mind clear(as could be) Really starting to understand who I am. Going to the gym now and then home to see my kids! Thanks as always.
Great! Yes, that's exactly the way you get through it. Instead of lamenting the loss of your kids, look forward to seeing them the next time! And when you are alone then ask yourself what you can do that you can't when the kids are around. Fill the time with projects. If you don't have enough projects then pick up a new hobby like R/C planes or something. I am alone a LOT, but I am never lonely. The loneliness was horrible at first, but like I said before, you work on finding out who you are and learn to be happy with yourself and the loneliness slowly goes away and is replaced with a new sense of confidence.
