Basically my husband of nine years left two years ago for another lady and returned after eight weeks later promising to fix the marriage but never did. After living as roommates since his return he left again in September. He still shows no interest in reconciling. Due to financial insecurity and his lack of interest in our daughter I may need to file for divorce in the near future. I'm struggling a lot as you can see in the previous thread.
All, I feel like I got too far behind to respond to each of your responses in detail but I really appreciate all of them and keep reading them.
The latest is that two nights ago my husband arrived at his 'normal' time although I didn't expect him to come since he hasn't been coming and didn't call. He entered silently and looked sad and upset and walked into our daughter's room and sat down without showing much emotion. He built blocks with her for about 20 minutes. During that time I could hear her saying "Why don't you want to live with us? Why? Tell me why." His response was "because I don't want to live with anyone." Then she said "why are you so mean to mama and make her cry?" I didn't hear his response to that but to me that was one of the saddest things I've ever experienced. Hearing an innocent child struggling to understand why her father left, and her father not being able to offer any kind of comfort or regret. I feel so terrible for my daughter. She's normally a happy child but I fear how this will affect her future.
My husband stood up to leave and said he has to go because he has more work to do and he's sick. I was standing there at that point and asked why he came if he's sick? The last thing I need is to be more sick than I am, and I don't want our daughter to get sick. He said not physically sick, psychologically sick. Then he left.
I am researching lawyers today and will consult with one hopefully in the next few days. I don't know if I should stop my husband from seeing our daughter or allow him to see her. I guess I need to ask a lawyer. I don't know what's better or worse for her.
In addition to everything else I do wonder what will happen to my husband. Will he really be happy living alone in a big house with no family within a thousand miles after we move? Will dating any girl he can find with the right physical appearance be worth giving up his family for? Will he ever be sorry for what he's done? I feel I don't know anything about him anymore. He's so angry with and annoyed at me but it was his choice to cheat, to leave, and to do all these things. He's talked about how miserable he is in the past, how he doesn't like being married or having a child....is that normal healthy thinking? The only thing that would make sense is that he used me for immigration purposes and now he's "stuck" with financially supporting a family he didn't want. But that's his fault.
It's hard to stop thinking. I've been working on planning for the move and hope to take a lot of actions as soon as I figure out what's wrong with my health (in addition to what I know). I'm sure a big part of my health problems are due to being in this situation but I still need to get a final diagnosis.
Thanks again everyone for your support. I wish I had a group of friends in real life just like all of you!
