So we had to take a car ride together without the kids, and we had some more conversations. We started talking business, and we got into what to tell the kids. She doesn't want to mention the 'D' word to them yet, just that we're separating and seeing how it goes. Furthermore, she doesn't think we should tell people beyond the ones who know right now. She said it's like sending out an engagement announcement right after asking, or telling people about a pregnancy very early on. You're just not sure right then, and walking back those announcements are painful and hard.
I would agree to this.
Originally Posted By: Subitai
She also said she has a hard time saying the 'D' word. (Which is the opposite of how things were before.)
I've noticed this with my W too. She'll use every euphemism possible and even talks to a divorce lawyer friend for advice. But not say the divorce word.
Originally Posted By: Subitai
We talked a bit about logistics, and she had previously been gungho on the apartment, and when I had mentioned Feb 1st as a start date, got upset. (That's earlier in the thread.) She wanted us out as soon as possible after Christmas, so I said I'd try and get us something by the 15th. (After being an ass, of course.) Today she thinks the 15th is too soon after her trip, and may want to postpone the move-in date another week so it isn't so soon after the trip.
This is why I'm big advocate of sitting back and letting them do all the legwork. Is it possible for you to postpone the start of the lease and make it her responsibility? I imagine there's two viewpoints. On the one hand being together means she'll see your 180's (you're working on those correct?). On the other hand, by being alone she may feel lonely the weight of separation might fall on her and influence her thinking.
If you end up staying in the house together, what GAL activities have you been doing? In that situation, I think getting out of the house and socializing with people is even more important.
