Adjusting to being a LBS....

[Subitai]

So we had to take a car ride together without the kids, and we had some more conversations. We started talking business, and we got into what to tell the kids. She doesn't want to mention the 'D' word to them yet, just that we're separating and seeing how it goes. Furthermore, she doesn't think we should tell people beyond the ones who know right now. She said it's like sending out an engagement announcement right after asking, or telling people about a pregnancy very early on. You're just not sure right then, and walking back those announcements are painful and hard.

She also said she has a hard time saying the 'D' word. (Which is the opposite of how things were before.)

We talked a bit about logistics, and she had previously been gungho on the apartment, and when I had mentioned Feb 1st as a start date, got upset. (That's earlier in the thread.) She wanted us out as soon as possible after Christmas, so I said I'd try and get us something by the 15th. (After being an ass, of course.) Today she thinks the 15th is too soon after her trip, and may want to postpone the move-in date another week so it isn't so soon after the trip.

I'm having a hard time with this. These seem like they should be seen as positive steps, but before any little snippet of crumbs I jumped on resulted in immediate and hard pullback.

I didn't say anything about Recon, or us not moving out, and instead agreed to her messaging for the kids and not doing a message for friends and family beyond the ones that already know, and said I would be okay pushing out the move-out date.

This seems too early in the process for this to be a real softening, though. I'm still struggling to try and understand her and make sure she understands me. We talked about a miscommunication over child discipline. When I asked again about the 123 magic book, though, she immediately jumped onto saying it's more important to read the co-parenting books (which she has not done yet) instead, so I backed off on the 123 magic book.

Frustrating!