It's been awhile since I've journaled. I haven't been coming here nearly as much but I'm still following along with most of the threads.
Things have been close to the same w/xw, she is still friendly w/me for the most part.
After Thanksgiving I got back after being gone for a week while her and the kids were in my house. When I came back xw and I started talking about s's video game problem. Xw says I think he should only be allowed to have them two days a week, which I am on board with but while talking about it she goes over tells the kids the new rule and takes the ipads away which lead to s having a complete meltdown. I told her I agreed w/her but we should have done it different, she agreed but it was done. A few weeks later and s is doing much better, doing chores, playing, playing w/d, and just being a kid. It's been nice.
Xw has generally been friendly and chats when she is over but her mood does vary. Lots of talk about getting old again. She dive bombed me (again) and pointed out a hair she said looked light. I told her if I had any gray hair it was from her and we laughed. During another conversation she was talking to me about her sister that she doesn't speak to. She said something about what a pos she is and then paused and said something like, "Not that I have room to talk, after being a horrible person but she's..." This is the first, maybe second time, she has acknowledged her behavior to me. I didn't dig and we moved on. We've had a couple of nice friendly conversations but I do notice her attitude/mood seems to change when she comes around after hanging out w/mlc friend.
The kids had their Christmas program a couple weeks before Christmas. We were supposed to meet but she barely got the kids there in time so we didn't sit together. My parents came to watch and when it was over I got s since his grade was dismissed by us. We went out to the lobby and xw was talking w/my parents. When we were going to leave she invited them to go to ice cream w/ the kids. I was completely taken off guard. About 2 years ago xw told me "I could care less if I see anyone in your family again" and has never liked my mom so this shocked me. It was alright, didn't feel awkward or anything. The following week my mom sent some baklava for xw. Xw looked confused when I gave it to her even though I heard them talking about it and my mom telling her she would send some. I told xw but she told me she didn't remember. She also texted to thank my mom but later asked me why she was being nice; she never hasn't been so IDK where this came from.
Things went well in regard to the holidays. We talked about new years and I was going to take the kids. After I thought about it that wouldn't leave me any holiday time next year since she gets Thanksgivings. I tried to explain this to xw and she didn't get it, after this she tried to say the kids were old enough to decide where they wanted to go next year. I told her no they weren't and I wanted every other year. I had to drop it as she was getting agitated and trying to convince me I didn't make sense. A couple hours later she texted and apologized saying she saw what I was saying and we would work it out. IDK if she really didn't get it or if she had plans she didn't want interrupted, I'm kind of leaning towards the latter. She said she was going to friend _'s or "a friend has a ticket for a comedy show" and she didn't know what she was doing. I know I can't dwell or give it energy and that we're divorced but the way she said it made me wonder if she is seeing someone. If so it makes it a lot harder to stand and stfu.
We exchanged presents from the kids after Christmas. I was a little sad that this is the reality xw choose for us but I'm trying to make the best of it. S tried to get us to hug but IDT xw picked up on it. I felt really bad, both kids have done this. A couple days later xw brought my gift from the kids over. After opening it and thanking everyone xw opened her arms for a hug and told me Merry Christmas. I walked over and gave her a hug but I was not expecting it.
The holidays went well and the kids had a great Christmas. I did to but there were some moments when I really missed xw. I got lots of time off work and spent most of it with the kids. We had a great time and got some sledding in. Things were good for me for the most part. I did have a couple moments when I got unexpectedly hit hard but they passed quick.
