Hello, CW2017... I have followed your sitch from the start... Yours is the one I care about most... As a former WW, I feel so much guilt as I follow your sitch because you seem so much like my H... He did not deserve any of the crap I put him through... I was foolish, selfish...
The thing is, he knew quite a bit about my deceitfulness for months, and said nothing... That was a mistake... Keeping it to himself only let my lustful feelings for AP deepen to where the A relationship became compulsive... I never saw myself as ending up with AP... I didn't want that... But after being so deep in the affair, I could not see myself going back to my boring marriage (which was not boring, but after the affair, it seemed that way to me)... So when my A ended, I was open to other As... Emotional or physical...
I think that keeping things to yourself is not helping your marriage, but actually hurting it...
