Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 12, D on hold

[Zues126]

I wish I knew someone in real life that was able to recover their marriage and ask them how they were able to feel that sense of...fate? for each other? Forgive me while I just journal my thoughts about my musings...

...Is this is a season of life? Maybe? I am not making any sudden moves and still working on DBing.

It's hard. From the outside it's easy to share my thoughts, but you're the one that has to walk the road. Still, it's all I can do so here goes.

I believe that feelings follow behavior. I also believe that feelings aren't a good way to determine whether you should continue to invest effort into a marriage.

It's like investing in the stock market. First time investors buy a stock and then they check it hourly. They're told it's a long term investment but they can't help themselves, they keep refreshing values and fretting over what might happen. The seasoned investors have seen the highs and lows and can just make an investment and then let it stand for a year or two.

Instead of habitually evaluating your marital satisfaction, maybe you can look at it the same way. Like you know that the piecing road is going to be a difficult and painful one for a long time, but that you've decided that based on your beliefs you are committed to making the investment.

Then you can put your focus on not what you're getting out of the marriage, but whether you're doing everything you can to make the best investment possible. Are you being the best wife and mother and human you can be? Are you doing everything you can to show God and your husband your appreciation for your family? Not because you expect an immediate return of reciprocation or romantic feelings, but because this is what you were put here for (to appreciate what you were given and to give to those around you).

If you are doing everything you can be doing then choose to feel good because you are doing your best. Drop all expectations. Continue to GAL and meet your needs and make your own happiness. And continue to give your all to the M. Do this and maybe before you know it the seasons will turn and one morning you'll wake up and realize things are going good and will wonder when that happened.

Shoot, interrupted by life. Sounds like that's what you've been doing anyway. Keep up the great work, you're doing it right.