Hi, Psysara... This is a season, a stage... At the beginning of coming back together, there is a giddiness... That lasts for a bit, but then the mundane comes in... And this may last for a very long time... You must determine what you are willing to endure to "hopefully" get what you want, which is not guaranteed...
In my opinion, the underlying issue is that you have always let your H back in rather easily... he says the right words, he demonstrates a token action or two... You have yet to require him to prove himself before you welcome him back... I think that is why he eventually slides back into old behaviors... You and hoosjim are sort of in the same predicament... You are sort of piecing by yourselves and experiencing little or no affection from your spouse...
Getting back to the spark, if you do get there, will require a lot of patience from you and your H... Getting there is worth it, but there are no guarantees... You must determine what you will be okay with... And you don't have to decide that now... You can keep going, and make your decisions along the way...
I really do hope you get the marriage you want... The marriage you have worked so hard for...
