Sandi's Reflections - Part 2

[Coconut]

Sandi,

That is a great list, thank you for putting it together. As I read through them, I saw some that didn't apply to me at all, a lot that partially applied to me, and none that completely applied to me.

I think the key is to understand the traits that can be unattractive to woman and be conscious of the things that you may be doing in excess. I think everyone can find a few things on that list that they are guilty of, and it's important to minimize those bad traits as much as possible.

I think one thing missing from this list is a H (or W for that matter) that will not communicate. It will be obvious that they are upset about something, but when asked what is wrong, they will just blow it off and say nothing, although they will walk around obviously grumpy all day, or even go to bed mad about it. It will fester and either they will just blow up one day or just internalize it all, neither of those options is good for a healthy R.

I know in my situation, there were things that I was doing (or wasn't doing) that should have been obvious to me that my wife was having issues with, but she never communicated her unhappiness with anything, and I didn't take the time to reflect on myself (nor did I really have the understanding of what types of things to reflect on).

On the other hand, I had issues with her putting our son before me, I had expressed this to her and she blew it off. While she knew I didn't like it, I failed to communicate with her how it really made me feel, and instead I just withdrew from her, actually said to myself several times that I would just have to wait until my son went to college to get my Wife back. Not a good way to have a healthy relationship.