Wife wont admit to affair and its driving me nuts!

[Morbo]

OK, I'm making a balls of this NC. I thought since I called her out everything it would all just stop, we'd have a businesslike relationship with the kids and move towards divorce.

She just sent me this email. It devastated me to my core.

You "told my family that you were having an inappropriate relationship with your boss(which you are) and they took you off Whatsapp" holy f**ing [censored]@! That is lower than f**k. I just can't believe you would do that to me, to the girls. You are worse than I could ever imagine. Sometimes I think you do things on purpose so I'll off myself and you'll be rid of me. This is so utterly low. You know the only thing I f**ing cared about more than anything was how hurtful it was to lose your family when I don't have much family of my own. You are a spiteful horrible person.

I've had so many horrible feelings about you and our relationship and I purposely kept that from my family because they are family. You are the father of their grandchildren. I've been as positive as possible when discussing what we are going through. Because THAT'S WHAT YOU DO.

You ONLY f**king STEPPED UP when I was READY TO LEAVE. I F**kING BEGGED YOU. I begged you to help. I BEGGED you to PLEASE make things easier and that I couldn't handle things much longer. You didn't care, you didn't change then, you didn't do anything when it would have really helped me. I went deeper and deeper into my hole. I know what I did wrong, I know that I lost hope and drank too much to cope with my feelings, to make myself feel better about myself, to ignore that I had lost my self worth.

She's sent me 2 other emails telling me she hates me.

This is just KILLING me though.
What if I"M WRONG!!

How can she keep denying, so strongly!!