Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 12, D on hold

[PsySara]

Nicole,
We are kind of at the place where BluWave was about a year ago, I think. I am finally getting back some normalcy and routine and starting to process the last two years. My thoughts are going in directions I don't like and I find myself wondering why I fought so hard for someone who disrespected me so much for so long. Our marriage was lackluster before DD#1 and I find WH slipping into his routine behaviors. I just wish he'd jump through some hoops or something. I am very ambivalent about my feelings toward WH right now. While he is being very kind he is not really touching me at all. He's honest in that he isn't drawn to me as physically as previously. He thinks it's because he is struggling with the guilt of giving me a cancer causing STD which I am undergoing treatment for.I am trying to be patient but I kind of want that swept off my feet feeling.

Ginger,
I feel like the last time I felt the spark was even before we married. Afterward he started residency and became a bit of an @sshole. He started out in surgical residency and was a gunner. It was at the cost of our family too. He ended up switching to internal medicine and things got a little better. Most of our marriage has been WH being perpetually unhappy. I wa "I want to be a surgeon" or "I want to go into Interventional Cardiology." These were things that would take enormous time away from the family. Whenever he would chase a dream and it didn't come to fruition he would become moody and withdrawn. Now he seems happy with his family and while work is fulfilling, he's no longer chasing dreams that would destroy his family. I am grateful for that and this is more of an internal struggle for me.

Is this is a season of life? Maybe? I am not making any sudden moves and still working on DBing.