A fresh start? (probably not!)

[CW2017]

Hi all and once again Happy New Year!
Due to a lot of travelling over the last week I did not really have the time to sit down with my W for a proper chat about the last year (in retrospect I think she may well closed down any formal conversation in any case). So on our way walking to New Year festivities last night I dropped into the conversation what an "interesting" year it had been but how does she feel about us now. She said things were OK now and I basically said "good, because if you're happy, I'm happy". But I also said that I do not want a repeat of a year like that. So I didn't really labour anything, any discussion of the mental trauma can wait for another time. She has definitely been on her best behaviour over Christmas so it has been great for DD. Clearly I wasn't going to get the running to the toilet/bedroom with her phone this time around (unlike last year) so I guess I'll just have to take it from here and rely on the gut feelings, as per.

My trusted cousin said to me "what, another conversation?!" so I emphasised that it was more about me summing up the year more than anything else. There have been a few instances of "you never listen to me" as well a bizarre outburst when she got in from a work dinner where I had forgot (genuinely) to inform her about traffic problems that were supposed to have cleared hours earlier. What I got was along the lines of "it's a pity (me not informing her) this came on one of the couple of occasions a year I actually get to go out, as the rest of the year I am chained to the kitchen sink". WTF? I have given her a ton of freedom last year (she's been out loads of times) and I only went out on my own into town 3 times so as to create a dutiful image for myself (whilst nor pursuing, of course). So after that she's writing a card and I am waiting for a message to confirm the address and suddenly it's "why are you hovering over me?" (which I wasn't) so I leave the room. When I come back later mysteriously her phone had appeared next to where she was writing. Anyway, whatever! After that like I said she was good as gold.

Had a long chat last week with a close friend who is going through an awful D of his own at the moment (I have pointed him to this board of course). He agrees with me that, with my sitch, I should tough it out for my D's sake (unless something dramatic happens in the meantime, like "new evidence"). Strangely enough, his wife informed him it was all over because he had not been meeting his emotional needs. So I guess there is an unwritten text book out there! Anyway, to everyone out there, onwards and upwards!

all the best