Hi GalPal, I agree with Job. From what I have read about MLC, there are different contact types. Some disappear entirely, some mostly disappear but you'll hear from them every now and then (my XH) and some are keen to stay in regular contact.

I think the 'regular contact' MLCer is possibly the hardest to deal with as they present you with ongoing dilemmas to navigate.

The main thing is to do what works for you. If less contact works well for you right now, just do it. Slow any responses right down. Sometimes friends may contact me when I'm really busy. A couple of days later I'll think - oh gosh I never got back to Ann and then I'll reply to her note. Become like that.

If it helps you, make technology work for you. XH had 'instant' access to me when the email account he used for contact was on my phone. I took it off my phone and only checked that account on iPad when I was home. It was a great relief that the contact became on my terms. And of course he never knew.

So, I agree that not saying any more about it is the best way and just change your own behaviour. Be a responder rather than an initiator and be a relatively slow and minimal responder if that works best for you.

Take care and a happy new year to you smile xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus