New LBS dealing with WW Part 3

[sandi2]

I am about to start a new life. She can come along with me if she is willing to R and do the hard work.

That's the spirit! No need to tell her those words. Just let her do her own thing, while you are becoming the best possible version of Joe.

Otherwise, I will be getting a D and moving on without her. She already filed the paperwork, so now I just have to decide if I want my attorney to take things slow or move as fast as possible. Either way it's a done deal unless WW stops the process.

Whether you rush or drag it out, is your decision. One thing I want to point out is to not look at getting a D as your escape from a bad situation. I think you will discover that you will have to deal with the same feelings, and maybe some new ones. Going to a divorce recovery class, and doing whatever helps the PTSD, to help you cope/heal is an excellent move. Even tough guys need help with these type of issues. Giving yourself healing time and following a plan that guides through the process, is smart.

I have been thinking about what Sandi said about WW losing respect for me. I think it started when I got this new job sitting behind a desk, instead of being active on duty. I do not know what it will take to get her respect back. I am at a loss there, because I am never going back to the military. I haven't had a drop in career confidence, and she knows my job is going really well. I worked hard to get where I am professionally and I will not give that up for anyone because it is how I am going to support my kid.

I suppose only she could tell you if that had something to do with the respect factor. Perhaps it was the "image" you portrayed when in active duty. She may have been more attracted to that image than the one you have on a desk job. Maybe she saw you more masculine, driven, more dominant.

When I was writing this rely, I had the thought of starting a new thread about the things that cause women to lose respect and attraction for their H. So, I paused submitting this post long enough to start another topic. I have to do it while it's on my brain, least I'll forget.

Anyway, it's titled Sandi's Reflections - Part 2, if you want to review it.