I don't think having you take just one of the kids every weekend has anything to do with reconnection. Sorry. If she only wants one, she probably is really having a hard time handling him.
My other thought is, so what if this she wants to spend time doing "other" things. Your decision on taking your son every weekend should not be based on that at all. Either you want to, or you don't because you like having your own time every weekend to do your GAL. Neither is wrong. But your decisions shouldn't be based on what she choses to do with HER time.
You do what you want to do based on you, your S, and nobody else. Time to re-detach!
Of course I want to spend time with my S. I did say it wasn't fair that she just wanted to something with my D, but it came back around to 'he loves spending time with you' - so, by definition, is W saying she doesn't want to spend time with him?
The double standards are amazing though. In May, she didn't want to bring the kids over once a week, as it was 'disturbing' their (her) week. Now it suits and she's all guilty bashing!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Yes, I agree with Ginger. Don't be guided by the thought of - what will this mean for her? Does it mean I'm enabling her more, and she can go off and do X or Y.
Think more in terms of whether this is a good thing for you and for your S. Do you want to have your S with you every weekend. Does that work for you, does it work for him? If the answer is yes, go for it and don't even worry about what that may mean for your W.
Glad you have had a happy Xmas and hope you guys are enjoying the snow up there!
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
It works for me most weeks. I just don't want to be enabler. Good wishes to you as well:)
If what you chose to do is right for you and your son and the side effect does indeeed enable your WAW to do what she wants, why do you care? She's gonna do what she's gonna do.
I know it's a crappy reality. When I stopped worrying about how the outcome of my decisions would affect my Ex I felt like I was finally free.
Hi Huddy, 2018 is a new year , make it for you and your kids , nothing and no one else matters.
're seeing your S more, how great is that !!!! How many parents in your sitch get the chance to see more of their kids? If that helps or hinders others , so what ??
Yes, you're right, what does it matter in the long run? I have told her that I can have my S this coming weekend. I still think I'm enabling her, but, I suppose I can't stop anything.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
She’ll do what she wants anyway. You’re not part of her plan. I hear you about enabling but she will do it anyway. You can’t stop it.
Let it go.
Peace bro.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Hey bud. Hope Christmas went well for you, E and the Fox
I hear you. Spending some quality time with my S for a coupe of days. Sadly, W has decided to not let him got to S's birthday dinner in two days time, so we're going for a burger instead.
She called twenty minutes after she left today, saying S looked 'sad' today when she left. She sounded teary eyed and was checking on him. I just said 'of course he's sad to see you leave', and left it at that. She promised to call him tonight, but nothing yet (mind you, her memory is shot to pieces, as she promised to call the kids one day last week and missed the target by 16 hours!).
I know she'll do what she wants anyway. Somebody said to me, she might be doing this to make sure I'm not going out meeting anyone. I wouldn't have been so vain to have thought of that, but hey, let's get 2018 going! Plans afoot to go on holiday with the kids in the summer!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
but hey, let's get 2018 going! Plans afoot to go on holiday with the kids in the summer!
Now that’s what I like to hear.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
