How a treehouse can cost you your marriage 2

[Clyde]

It's been a minute since my last post, but much has happened.

Thanksgiving went great. I kept my expectations grounded and was pleasantly surprised.

The W was supposed to get to the family home around 9 a.m. to help prep dinner, around 9:30 D13 was asking me where she was, I told D13 to relax - she'll be here shortly... honestly I was thinking the same thing as I thought she might have decided to go to a friends first and decided to show late, I was also bracing for a possible early exit from her as I'm sure her friends were wanting her to celebrate thanksgiving w/ them. Again I was pleasantly surprised as neither of those scenarios were the case. W showed about an hour later than she had said but clearly she used the extra time to dress herself up (hair/make up/ clothes), she was wearing a top that I had to wonder if she wore specifically for me as when she has worn it in the past I have commented to her how good she looks in it. She stopped before getting to the house to pick up some goodies for the kids, wine, and my favorite craft beer.

The entire days was great, we cooked as a family, played games with the kiddos, even found time to sit on the back patio alone together and enjoy a drink together. She stayed till close to midnight, when she left I walked her to her car and she thanked me for having her over and said "I had a really fun time".

From that day on we pretty much saw each other every day.

Two days later she stopped by after work for a good 5 hours, we hung out as a family, put the kids to bed and got some alone time for about an hour or two before she left. I again walked her to her car except this time instead of her getting right in her car she stood there as if she was waiting for a hug, I hugged her (first time since BD) for what turned into a long embrace.

The next day I picked her up at her place to go on a hike. When she got in to my truck she made a joke about how dusty it was. I replied "sorry, I did not know I was going to have a woman of your caliber in my truck" she joked back saying "Sure, thats probably what you have been telling all your dates... I hope you at least took the car seats out so that you did not scare them." I kinda felt as though she was feeling me out as to whether or not I had been seeing anyone since the separation. I told her "There has not been anyone else."

After the hike we grabbed some lunch at a place she had been wanting to try. The convo turned to R talk, during which I said something to the likes of "We really had a good thing, we flew a little too close to the sun, but prior to that, life was good." She agreed saying "Yeah we did, It was really nice."

The whole day seemed natural, like we never separated. When I dropped her off at her house we hugged, and caught up in the chemistry that was happening, I went in for a kiss (I was honestly not thinking about it, it was like second nature), she denied the kiss and said, "Come on now, you know me... don't you remember how many dates you had to take me on before our first kiss the first go round?"

The next day I went over to her place with S5, we hung out watched some cartoons, I went and grabbed us all lunch. I stayed for a few hours, my back/neck was bothering me, she saw me stretching and asked how I was feeling lately (referring to my neck injury last year). I told her it was good, I still have some really bad episodes, and that my neck/back had been a little tight lately. She said lets see what I can do and proceeded to give me an awesome massage.

Later that night we were talking MR on the phone for a few hours, during which she said her only reservation about reconciling is that she feels I do not trust her, that I do not want her to be able to go out with her friends and have fun. I said lets figure it out then, she raised her voice said she was tired of arguing about it. I was a little more prepared/confident with my response this time. I told her...

"Please hear me out, maybe even sleep on it before responding... I do want you to go out and have fun, last thing I want is to be the reason you are not enjoying life. I'm not going to beat around the bush, much of this issue revolves around your "sister", I'm not going to lie either, I don't like her at all, that being said - I know the bond you two have and I'm not asking for that bond to be compromised on my behalf, I will point out though that she is not your real sister, I am your real husband, we are your real family. As your H though I will not come second to her, if she disrespects me our our R, I expect you to call her out on it. As far as me not trusting you when you hang out with her... I would say it starts w/ the lack of respect I've been shown in the past, and since trust and respect go hand and hand - yeah, there are some trust issues. I know these trust issues are not insecurities on my behalf... think back to our first few years, I had no issues with you going out with your "sister" or the girls, it was only after the incidences w/ your "sister" happened that I started to have issues w/ you going out w/ her... yes HER, I have never had any issue w/ you going out w/ any of your other friends. So lets just say we were to reconcile, if all the things that created the trust issues were no longer a factor, if these incidences that played out in the past w/ your "sister" were just that, the past, do you really think I would think twice about what you were up to when you were out? What would there be for me to take issue with?"

She started to tell me how she hates going to clubs and bars anyhow, a lot of times that is the only opportunity she has to hang out w/ her "sister", and that in the past she did not want to be the one to say no thats not what I want to do, lets do something else. I told her that no where in what I just said did I tell you not to go to these places, thats never been the issue, its how it unfolds that is the problem. I told her lets leave it at that for the night, and to please reflect on what I said and what the heart of the issue is, if you still think I'm being unreasonable I'm all ears.

We ended the conversation with a cordial goodnight.

The next day I was at her place, no mention of the previous nights convo came up. She told me she was thinking about coming home. I told her that I was happy to hear that, what exactly were her thoughts, (I was thinking this would happen over the next few weeks, possibly months) when should we tell the kids. She said lets tell them after school, and she came up to me and gave me a big hug and kiss.

When we did tell the kids they were so excited, they were all smiles the whole night.

She has sold or given away all the furnishings out of her apartment, and has 100% moved back home.

It has been about 30 days since she moved back home. It has been really nice, after all that has happened I think that it goes without saying that I would be a little nervous. I will say this though, all of her actions have shown commitment to our MR, and most importantly and what I feel is the biggest tell tell, my W seems very happy, I have not seen her this happy in over a year. I decided to put my ring back on and when she noticed her face lit up, she put hers on and has been wearing it since.

We have a long way to go, but I feel we both clearly understand all that is at stake and what it is going to take to make it.

Me personally, I have no intentions of abandoning the journey I have started in becoming the best Clyde I can be, the best father I can be, the best husband I can be.

I do still have healing to do, I do not know how long it will take, but I know Ii have a ways to go.

I have not been able to post as I do not want the W to know about this site yet, (I hope one day she would be open to sharing her thoughts, intentions, views through out this process on this site). I do plan on posting more and going more in-depth on the last 40 days I've been away from this forum, and the progress and pitfalls the W and will go through in future as we rebuild our lives together, I'm sure I'll need some advice along the way (possibly 2x4's). I know all that I have gained from reading about others sitches, so I will try to me more diligent about posting. I just got a moment alone and wanted to let you all know Clyde is alive and kicking... I want to thank all of you who took the time to give me advice, held my family and I in your thoughts, helped me shape my view on this whole process, the 2 x 4's, the well wishes, encouragement... all of which has been instrumental in giving this family a second chance.

I wish you all a Happy New Year, and know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers.