My love are you forgetting that you are human, and as such, will make mistakes from time to time? A mistake is a far cry from intentional harm or neglect.
As Rd said, use it as a learning tool and move on to the best of your ability. It's ok, Sotto. You made a mistake. As a parent I can't tell you how many of these I've made. All I can do is learn from them and do my best not to make the same mistake again.
I'm sorry you're having a time of it. I understand, truly. Massive hugs to you my dearest. Be gentle with yourself. You do a lot, and are in a heartbreaking situation. I know - I've had the care of elders and witnessed first hand what dementia does, and how frail older people really are. All we can do is move on, love them and do our best.
As for other family members not helping, that is truly a tough one and goes on more often than not. Feeling resentful is natural. Try to acknowledge it and let it go. She would be a good person to do the loving kindness meditation on. Just a suggestion.
As Rd said, it's almost 2018 -- acknowledging these feelings is important, but it's also a good idea to decide what you want to take with you into the new year and what you want to leave behind.
xoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
