Well, hello everyone! Thanks for all weighing in on my most recent OLD experience.

I will start by saying I appreciate all of your concern and it is obvious you all do care about me and I now it comes right from the heart.

That being said..... RELAX! I am a intelligent woman, and you can see from my post I had some concerns, so my eyes are wide open. I also want it to be said that before we began talking, was when I realized my depression was too much. I began pulling out of my hole before I began talking to him. I am not in a desperate state, I am detached from outcomes, and I am being smart and careful.

As we have gone on talking, I do not believe I am being catfished. So that is one less thing to worry about. His story checks out completely. I saw pics of his daughters live, and the one matches the one in his profile picture. His job is real, the company is real, the locations are real.

He was weary about me. He said I feel confident you are for real and I really look forward to meeting you. We didn't get into details, but his wife passed when the kids were young, and he dated, but no actual R's. He said he couldn't with 2 young girls. We talked about the whole introducing kids thing and our opinions and they are similar.

I seriously think this dude has been out of the game for soooooo long.

Oh, and yes, women are out there looking for hookups. They do send nudes off the bat. It is a real thing. And a sad thing. Just as a guy will send you a dickpic as soon as you hand them your number, girls will do the same. We aren't the better more dignified sex all the time. Women out there are as dirty as some guys, looking for the same things.

Why did he go online before getting settled here? I don't know. He's been back and forth here for a little and here for over a month. He's never lived in my state. Maybe it isn't the best idea to pile all this stuff on top of himself at once. But I am betting he is lonely, and rightfully so.

Where are the red flags I do see? When he realized I was the real deal, he got honest. He really likes me. He has asked several times how could I possibly still be single (I get used to this question, I really hate this ne, but understandable). I am afraid he may be building up a fantasy of this amazing woman in his head, then he meets me and I don't live up to his fantasy. Which is also why I like to meet up early.

What's the good thing about all of this. Whatever happens happens. It's not my life, I am not putting all my feelings and eggs in my basket of this being some magical romance. I am simply dating. And if he is a bunch of BS or wrong for me, it's "bye-bye" but if I don't stick around to find out, well, then maybe I lost something great. I am not wiring him any money, it's all good.

So, listen to this. I get a message of POF from that guy from the gym who has liked me, but unfortunately he was the one who was arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a 17 year old high school student he coached. While he was married and his daughter was a baby. he doesn't know I know. I know because my good friend from a farther away town knows him because he lived there and his daughter goes to school with her kids. He asked me out on POF and I turned him down by saying I was currently talking to someone else. He seemed pretty upset. He is a nice guy, and maybe he has been rehabbed and people deserve second chances, I am the mother of a daughter, so no way in hell.

I am just taking everything one step at a time. But I assure you all, I am not some naïve 20 something year old so desperate I'll believe anything. I am an adult woman who has been through the ringer and back facing every challenge throughout my whole life, yet managed to raise a great daughter, continue my education, and hold down a career. I am doing all right. I am not desperate enough to make dumb decisions like I did when I married my ex.

This week we move all our cubes at work to a crappy side of th ebuilding with different rules and work is going to get even worse. More than anything this year, I want my job situation to be resolved.

Tonight I was invited to two friends houses and one invited me much later and I have a commitment to someone else, so that one friend is mad I am not going to there house and yadda yadda and it really makes me want to go no where tonight. I was going to fake illness, but then D10 is stuck home alone with me. I realize I can't make everyone happy, So, someone is just going to deal with it.

Happy new years everyone. Every year I have said "this year will be my year!" Well, every year has blown since 2008, haha. So, I don't even care what this year brings anymore. No expectations. Just health and happiness for my child is what I need.