WAS showing you positive signs? WAIT- READ THIS!

[Zues126]

Hey 2016. You're right, gratitude isn't easy. But it is a habit that gets easier. Or maybe I just endured enough to get to where I had no alternative and had to become more appreciative to survive. But here are a couple of thoughts that guided me through:

The mantra that saved my life was this: If God gives me my health, my children, my family, food to eat, a job to do, friends, gifts and talents that I can bring and share with the world, music to listen to, a nice car to drive, a comfortable bed to sleep in...ALL OF THIS...and I STILL look up at the sky and say "Screw You God, without the woman and relationship I want the way I want it when I want it I think all of this is total bull$hit and you can stuff it and take it all back!"...If I was truly THAT ungrateful- well, let's face it, one screwed up woman wouldn't really make me any less miserable.

This is similar to focusing on what you have to be appreciative for, but somehow this struck home for me. Here's one from about 2 years in:

I've been existing in the space between.

What I mean is this. I was thinking about how much space is in the Universe. And I was thinking about how even things we feel as solid like this keyboard are actually made up of atoms of which 99.999999999999% are supposedly empty space. From where we sit it feels like our universe is filled up, and everything is solid. But that's really an illusion. It's practical enough for us to live our lives of course.

This is how I've felt about our lives. It's like we have these things that act on us, but most of our lives occurs in the space between. Take something that we might consider as unpleasant, like going to the dentist to get a cavity drilled. There are some true moments of discomfort, I am not disputing that a drill buzzing into a nerve doesn't cause very real unpleasantness. But when you zoom out the drilling makes up a very small percent of the actual time that the 'dentist' takes up in your life.

Making the phone call to schedule the appointment doesn't hurt. Driving to the dentist isn't painful, just floating down the road in a temperature controlled vehicle listening to some music or a good audiobook. Making small talk while the receptionist checks you in is easy. Sitting in the lounge and playing some addictive smart phone game or wondering how magazines are still in business is pleasant enough. Getting seated in the dental chair is no big deal. The gaws, biting down on stuff for x-rays, little poking and prodding and cleaning, all fine.

If you add up the seconds in which a drill is actually causing physical pain, it's probably about a minute. Certainly not life's finest joy, but not really a big deal. And there is no work to be done, no stress of deadlines or demands from your job, your children, etc. When you get down to it, it's almost a vacation. Yes, a moment of unpleasantness, but vacations have moments of unpleasantness too, like feelings claustrophobic on a crowded stuffy airplane that is forced to taxi for an extra half hour, or being hung over for those that drink, etc.

My point is that life has felt a lot like that lately too. Our problems in life are very real. They do impact us. But in the end, 99% of our life occurs in the space between. I can't fix the problems in my life, but I can demote them from authority figures that have the right to confiscate my ability to appreciate the rest of the time that my problems don't actually touch me. And if you've read my other recent posts (how we always have 83 problems no matter what, how life's biggest problems are unsolvable) I am starting to think that's the most important thing we do in our lives.

And finally, since I mentioned it above here is the last part (from a book I read):

A man that traveled the world to see the Buddha. He finally got an audience, and proceeded to tell the Buddha all about his problems. His family problems. His crops. His finances. Etc. Buddha calmly nodded.

Finally the Buddha said "I can't help you". The man was upset and asked what he meant. Buddha replied "Everyone has problems. 83 problems to be exact. And there's nothing you can do about it. If you work hard you can solve one, but another will appear in it's place. For example, you're going to lose all of your loved ones at some point, we'll all die. Now that's a problem no one can do anything about."

So the man was furious and asked what the point of being wise was!

Buddha told him he could help with his 84th problem...the desire to not have any problems.

In conclusion, I just realized little by little that I didn't have to wait for every negative emotion and painful situation to leave my life. I could accept that fact there were some things I really didn't like and some things that didn't feel good, I just didn't have to let that overwhelm everything else I had.

I'll check out your thread too. Hang in.